Elemmire12/13/06 01:24 am8: Chapter Seven: The Sun Still RisesSigned

(Perfectionist? High five!) You make it impossible not to hurry out with another review! Being so gracious with my (at least well meaning) critique, I cannot help but relax and prod your story some more. I totally understand the little things slipping through the cracks, and I know I am guilty of it as well. I found this problem, "When he realized just where his thoughts had taken him, and he smiled." but dude, that was one of the biggest grammatical problems that I could see! (Houses of Healing is capitalized just so) I loved your Arwen, a little removed, not going into her deeply, which was wise, as she is not (to my knowledge) a main character. How the King and Queen worked over Legolas was touching to me. You slowed enough, I believe, and have set a good pace again, so no fear of time outs! Good girl! *pats your head*
   I can see you being published, and if Never Alone outshines this... *whistles* So you have a thumb up from me! And, I think the best way to improve is to read. I can suggest some of the best stories on here. (Trust me... I have 128 reviews! I'm so proud!) But I am rambling... the story is expanding very well, and in all truth, I couldn't tell you how to better your character development. The plot... hmm, you know, I never thought about how one may better those kinda things. The plot is firm, and enticing enough that I'm hooked now. TBC!

Elemmire
Menelmacar



Author's Response:

You have absolutely made my day! *grins and returns high five*

Being gracious to reviewers incourages further reviewing! (and is only polite!) So yay for more prodding!

Grrr...this is what happens when you start to rewrite sentences! AGH! Ok...and I thought I had checked it all really well. *sighs and pulls red pens back out* Ok...what else? *grin*

I don't capitalize words that a lot of others do, I am in the process of going back and doing that so you are sure to find King capitalized half the time and not the rest. (just over look those! It will all be fixed in a future edit!). Arwen will play a bigger role, but she's supporting cast, not main character. Same with Faramir and Eowyn, though when they are there, I think they shine! *puts on sunglasses to look upon White Lady*

Pacing good...YAY! *looks dryly at patting hand on head* Why do I feel I should wag my tail? *grin*

How very encouraging to see you really like my writing! *cheers* (she likes me! She really likes me!) One day...yes, one day I WILL finish that novel!

Yes...Never Alone way outshines this tale. Ok, are you ready for this? I wrote Never Again, which is just shy of 50,000 words, in less than 30 days. Never Alone is over 60,000, and took me 3 1/2 months. I also had two betas working on it with me and I have read the books and parts of the Silmarillion since I wrote Never Again. I think the only major problem is my travel times (same in this story) which push the envelope of what is actually possible! I've since found a great site which breaks travel down really well.

I agree about reading improving your writing. I can tell when I have been writing too much and not reading. Of course if Thundera and Lamiel and Legolass and Nea's World would update more frequently, I'd read more frequently! *grin* I have been spoiled by such fabulous authors it's sometimes hard to read things that are not as well written. I'll have to check out more stories on this site. I think I've read a lot of them which are over at ff.net too. I have my max. of 150 favorite stories there. I don't want to think about the number of reviews I've written!

heehee...hooked readers are good. *begins reeling in* Oh...sorry, this isn't fishing, is it?

Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate it! You really did make my day!

NiRi


You must login (register) to review.