| Michelle | 02/14/07 09:29 pm | 27: Epilogue - Listen to Your Heart | Signed |
Ah, what a wonderful end! I just knew you would not let Legolas leave - even if you tried to fool us all with that evil chapter:) I like the idea that the pull of friendship is just as strong (if not stronger) than the pull of the sea. It's an interesting concept and probably the reason why Legolas made that promise to his friends in the first place. Because he knew he would not find peace in Valinor as long as he knew he was leaving someone behind. And you wanted to hear my opinion on the Eowyn/Thranduil scene? That's actually easy, because it was one of my favourites in the whole story. It's very telling that you had Eowyn throw all those "accusations" at Thranduil. Someone *had* to do it at one point or other. This one time being a woman probably worked in her favour. I do not think Aragorn (or another male) could have said those things to Thranduil and gotten away with it. And of course, she's always been one of my favourite characters:) Now, one request: MORE!
Author's Response: Thank Michelle! I'm so glad you liked it. I could never let our elf leave like that...but I couldn't resist trying to throw people off! And I'm so glad you liked that show down with Thranduil and Eowyn. The king would never have tolerated that from anyone else and so he heard an ear full and felt properly chagrined. Good thing she didn't have her sword on her, huh? I did not used to like Eowyn...until I wrote that chapter. She has since become one of my favorite human characters. More? Did you read Never Alone yet? I'm going to be adding that soon since it's done. Thank you for reading and commenting! NiRi |
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| Michelle | 02/13/07 09:50 pm | 16: Chapter Fifteen: Where the Heart Dwells | Signed |
Alright, I admit to feeling a little fluffy. But only a little. You managed to put Legolas through the wringer in a most perfect manner. And did I ever tell you that I like amnesia-stories? I think we even called a search for amnesia fics on AA once:) Though, so much is still unresolved. Legolas seems to have a sense of who he is, but he can't remember. At the rate he's going right now memory might come back quicker that everyone anticipates, but maybe he will still question the choices he did in the past - especially concerning Valinor. And what about his father? You write him as a convincing three-dimensional character where a lot of writers only make him the cliched badass who isn't able to love. So I'm actually looking forward to seeing his own resolution of "Never Again" come into fruition. He seems to try, but it's also much easier to simply blame Legolas' friends. Coming back tomorrow (if I don't spend my evening with the second season of Twin Peaks, that is *g*)!
Author's Response: Oh goody! You're still reading. That is always a good thing! *grin* You can't have all that angst without some fluff to balance it out or the readers have nervous breakdowns! I'm afraid the angst is far from over in this fic which means more fluff to though. You did tell me you like amnesia stories. I do too! I just can't write that in every story as the plot, though I'd like to do it more. I haven't read many of them though. Seems they are few and far between. You like my Thranduil huh? I'm hearing that a lot and it is VERY encouraging since he was an extremely intimidating character to write at first. I almost didn't write him in this, I was so afraid of ruining him. But now he is my favorite character to write! I hate Evil Thranduil fics! You don't raise a son like Legolas by being unable to show love. *grins* I'm interested in hearing your opinion on his resolution and a certain confrontation with a fiercesome shild-maiden. Enjoy your evening. I'm going to write. Can't abide TV anymore...spoils good writing time. *grin* Thanks for all your encouragement and kind words. NiRi |
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| Michelle | 02/12/07 09:22 pm | 4: Chapter Three: Breakfast With The King | Signed |
Look, I'm finally here:) Unfortunately my weekends are so filled that I have no three hours to read this story in one go, so I decided to enjoy it in little doses. Legolas' sea-longing seems like a good topic to explore his character and his thoughts as well as the friendship between the three and their interactions. And it's such a mysterious thing - it always captures my interest. I think Tolkien took something we all feel when looking at the sea - the longing for the unknown, the infitinite - and built on it and made it something terribly bittersweet. So I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen when those three explore those tunnels. I fear chaos and mayhem will ensue...
Author's Response: I understand Michelle. I'm reading a story that is over 120 chapters, and little doses is the only way to do it! *g* I'm glad I'm not the only one who can stand looking at the sea and wondering if what I feel is just an inkling of what Legolas must have felt. (The sea has never been the same for me since I read Tolkien) I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far. Chaos and mahem are never far apart from those three, are they? NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 01/17/07 10:04 pm | 13: Chapter Twelve: Le Iston? | Signed |
Hello again, sorry for the delay. Finally he's awake! I had a feeling the he would lose his memory, but I didn't imagine such an extreme! The Sea-longing! Wow, great plan! What a plot! The Elvish was a good touch, but I would like to figure out how Legolas was able to understand Gimli, but unable to at least thread together some simple sentences. I may be missing a key factor, but ai well. And why would "Le" be You Are? I'm curious. And I'm itching to write an Aragorn/Arwen talking scene. Can't wait for Thranduil! Elemmire
Menelmacar
Author's Response: Hello again! Yes...he's awake...finally! Glad you like the plot. I'm afraid there is no figuring out how Legolas could understand Gimli but not speak Common...the brain is little understood thing and brain injuries can cause strange things to happen. It's simply a result of the injury. Some neurons just aren't firing right! *grin* As to "Le" being You are...there are many understood words in Sindarin. In this case that is how this works. It is literally "You" but can be interpreted You are as well. I am not an expert by any means, but I was blessed with stumbling across a fabulous up to date site for it that is accurate. Many sites are not...and the book, The Languages Of Tolkien's Middle Earth by Ruth S. Noel is also not completely trustworthy. For accurate Sindarin (even a textbook to teach it!) go to http://realelvish.kagirinai.com/ Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked this chapter. NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/15/06 03:42 pm | 11: Chapter Ten: A Plea for the Quiet and Still | Signed |
To say in full truth, I could go on for a long time in a debate if Legolas is a single child or not, but it is not needed. So though your reasoning is sound, I could add some of my own reasoning. Anywho... another great chapter. I can't wait for those squirells*grins*! I'm glad you woke Legolas- high time! I'm glad Eowyn and Faramir are here- I do enjoy their company! It's nice to have Gimli get his wish. It must be harrowing to have your best friend in a coma! The travel time- nice to see someone cares! I did see your reviews and much appreciate them! (Could you look at the fifth stanza again, I'd like your opinon on my editting) I have to run, but I enjoyed the chapter! Elemmire
Forget not Menelmacar
Author's Response: Yea, I've heard much debate on whether Legolas was a single child or not...personally, I think it could go either way and since Tolkien didn't say one way or the other, I think both views are fine. Of course, I am also of the opinion that Legolas could very well have been married (& probably was) *grin* But let's not go there! Squirrels coming soon as this story is finished posting. You know...I could have dragged Legolas being unconscious on for chapters and chapters, but I"m one for getting on with the jist of the story, rather than bogging down in details or over dramatization. JUST TELL THE TALE! *grin* but I am severly ADD... I do love Eowyn and Faramir. Great to have them around. They will come in handy! I DO care about certain details and realistic is one of them! I'm still off on the travel times though...still pretty much near impossible to travel that distance in that time, but oh well. Live and learn. I will try to check out that stanza again soon...for now, I'm going back to bed & hoping to shake whatever bug bit me! Thanks for reviewing! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/13/06 05:01 pm | 10: Chapter Nine: Musing Over Messages and Dwarves | Signed |
Touching! ... But guess what happened again? You have three guesses and the first two don't count. Yeah, the doubling. You're so smart! It happened twice though. First was when Aragorn was smiling mentally to himself, and secondly when Gimli wondered what to say to someone unconscious. I am a bit surprised that you have brothers and a sister for Legolas... I must admit I never thought it wise for one to do- so many people have done it, it just seems (with lack of a better word) silly now. But hey, I'm sure you could pull it off, having this streak of original-ness. To dig a bit, I must say you are a bit vague in the description of things- you hop right on the story and sail for clear water. If you could hold back some more, and describe the scenery more, it would take you a lot farther. That's my opinon. Other than that, "this is gr8. Plaese keep writinh!" *tehe* Seriously. Elemmire S-S
Forget not Menelmacar
Author's Response: Well, I'm not sure what is up with the formatting. It's getting VERY frustrating. I may have to turn off all the italics and then re add them. Grr. I don't understand why you would be surprised that Legolas would have siblings. It is very unlikely he was an only child. Being sent as a messenger to Rivendell would lean towards him being the youngest child, rather than the heir. Elrond has three... And Thranduil is in Mirkwood which lost 2/3 of their warriors in the last alliance. I think the king and his people would have children to get their numbers back up...and Tolkien backs that up in the Appendices where he talks about the numbers increasing during the first 1000 years of the Third Age, before the shadow fell. I have found most who give him siblings pull it off very well, but I tend to only read well written stories. Well...I find that in story telling, there is a time for detail, and a time it is cumbersome to the pacing and the story. I agree that in Never Again, there are times more detail would help the quality of the story in some places, but in others, the story needs to move along. The biggest thing with this story was opening scenes. I have greatly improved with that area. You will be much happier with the sequel in that regard, down to the squirrels playing in the trees! *grin* Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate it! NiRi PS...I DID review your third place story in the Teitho for the O.C. contest! I even voted for it!! And I reviewed your poems...I think there is one more I need to check out, but I'm too tired tonight. Long day...Toodles! |
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| Elemmire | 12/13/06 04:26 pm | 9: Chapter Eight: In Fear of the Silence | Signed |
*giggles evilly* Guess what? *It* happened again! This time when Gimli first regarded Celedae. Also, on that subject, you dropped something. "..., 'that is crazy. Horses do not reason like people do.' " You should probably ask Michelle why on earth it is doubling like that. I don't recall it happening to me. I think "Mor" means 'black'... if you want sure Elvish, than you should check out arwen-undomiel(dot)com - she some how got David Salo to give her some Elvish words, phrases, song lyrics... the whole kit and caboodle! It is awesome, and there is no Grelvish! It is a very popular site... perhaps you have been there. Anyway, I'm rambling *again*!
Very nice chapter. Celedae was a nice touch (reminded me of a Sadoreth moment), and I like your ending... it was sweet. *g* Legolas better wake up soon, ya hear? More sparkling cider? You deserve some! Cheers! Elemmire P.S. Could you swing by my little place on here? I don't feel right dealing out so much critique without getting some! ... *seething with mock rage* O, and how dare you not mention Pentangle on your Spoiled List? Hmm? She is the best, best, best, best, best, best...*goes on for... hm, two hundred some pages* best author ever! *smiles innocently* What? Pentangle is.
Author's Response: You know, I went through and all that was supposed to be FIXED! I'm going to have to get with Michelle! GRRR... I do use the Arwen-Undomiel site...but there is a lot of scepticism by real Tolkien people about that elvish as well. The movie elvish is not exactly right in it's grammar. I use that site for names when I don't want to make my own. Otherwise I use my Sindarin dictionary! And put words together like Moroch. Mor means dark but is sometimes translated black. Glad you like Celedae! And I wrote him LONG before I ever read about Sadoreth! I am planning on visiting your side of the woods soon. I've been scrambling to finish another story, but I am coming! I LOVE Pentangle! She is awesome! But for me Lamiel and Thundera and Legolass are in a league above any other fan fiction authors. Nea is different because she writes excellent romance, but not canon romance. Pentangle is in the next list down though...but I don't want to start with that list, it would take all day! Pentangle, Silivren Tinu, Alina, Beth, nautika, Espree, James8, Laxgirl, Liek, MistyC, LenaLove, Daw, Yuggster, White Wolf, Radbooks...oh the list goes on and on and on!! And while I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE Pentangle...my hero is Thundera...she is the one who got me into this! AGH! I'm going to be late for work! Must run! thanks for reviewing! I'll check out your stories soon! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/13/06 01:24 am | 8: Chapter Seven: The Sun Still Rises | Signed |
(Perfectionist? High five!) You make it impossible not to hurry out with another review! Being so gracious with my (at least well meaning) critique, I cannot help but relax and prod your story some more. I totally understand the little things slipping through the cracks, and I know I am guilty of it as well. I found this problem, "When he realized just where his thoughts had taken him, and he smiled." but dude, that was one of the biggest grammatical problems that I could see! (Houses of Healing is capitalized just so) I loved your Arwen, a little removed, not going into her deeply, which was wise, as she is not (to my knowledge) a main character. How the King and Queen worked over Legolas was touching to me. You slowed enough, I believe, and have set a good pace again, so no fear of time outs! Good girl! *pats your head*
I can see you being published, and if Never Alone outshines this... *whistles* So you have a thumb up from me! And, I think the best way to improve is to read. I can suggest some of the best stories on here. (Trust me... I have 128 reviews! I'm so proud!) But I am rambling... the story is expanding very well, and in all truth, I couldn't tell you how to better your character development. The plot... hmm, you know, I never thought about how one may better those kinda things. The plot is firm, and enticing enough that I'm hooked now. TBC!
Elemmire
Menelmacar
Author's Response: You have absolutely made my day! *grins and returns high five* Being gracious to reviewers incourages further reviewing! (and is only polite!) So yay for more prodding! Grrr...this is what happens when you start to rewrite sentences! AGH! Ok...and I thought I had checked it all really well. *sighs and pulls red pens back out* Ok...what else? *grin* I don't capitalize words that a lot of others do, I am in the process of going back and doing that so you are sure to find King capitalized half the time and not the rest. (just over look those! It will all be fixed in a future edit!). Arwen will play a bigger role, but she's supporting cast, not main character. Same with Faramir and Eowyn, though when they are there, I think they shine! *puts on sunglasses to look upon White Lady* Pacing good...YAY! *looks dryly at patting hand on head* Why do I feel I should wag my tail? *grin* How very encouraging to see you really like my writing! *cheers* (she likes me! She really likes me!) One day...yes, one day I WILL finish that novel! Yes...Never Alone way outshines this tale. Ok, are you ready for this? I wrote Never Again, which is just shy of 50,000 words, in less than 30 days. Never Alone is over 60,000, and took me 3 1/2 months. I also had two betas working on it with me and I have read the books and parts of the Silmarillion since I wrote Never Again. I think the only major problem is my travel times (same in this story) which push the envelope of what is actually possible! I've since found a great site which breaks travel down really well. I agree about reading improving your writing. I can tell when I have been writing too much and not reading. Of course if Thundera and Lamiel and Legolass and Nea's World would update more frequently, I'd read more frequently! *grin* I have been spoiled by such fabulous authors it's sometimes hard to read things that are not as well written. I'll have to check out more stories on this site. I think I've read a lot of them which are over at ff.net too. I have my max. of 150 favorite stories there. I don't want to think about the number of reviews I've written! heehee...hooked readers are good. *begins reeling in* Oh...sorry, this isn't fishing, is it? Thanks for reviewing! I appreciate it! You really did make my day! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/13/06 12:22 am | 7: Chapter Six: Amongst the Rubble | Signed |
*gape* You did what to Legolas? How heartless! And this is not the summit of your story? Eighteen chapters and you're not finished? *makes a weird phleit sound* What are you gonna do next?
I am more than thrilled to recieve your willingness to put advice to use. I myself hate "that was gr8!!! u'r soo goood!" reviews. I love to grow and help grow through reviews... though sometimes I come across a little harsh. You must excuse me if I do. Like now. I caught this "and he decided he[?] would not go back to the palace." and some more, but I lost them- again. Though you are still growing better through your chapters, you seem to be getting excited, and so rushing a little too much. But hey, we're still in the acceptable-zone, so I don't have to put you in timeout *wink*.
You surprised me- I thought they would be trapped and bladda blah blah, the workers couldn't reach 'em, they were starving... so on, and so forth. But you are holding to a good element of surprise, and keeping away from common plots! Not that this is utterly original, and completely new to me, but your style and flow makes it more... enjoyable. *claps*
Elemmire S-S
Author's Response: I do strive to be original as much as possible in a very cliched fandom! *grin* This story is 27 chapters long, btw. The sequel is 30. I'm trying to do some editing as I post, so what you are reading is much improved over the original, but I see some errors are still slipping through. Sigh. I really need nautika to beta this for me! *makes note* Um...no, not the summit. That is yet to come. Much yet to come. *evil grin* And you know I can't tell you what I'm going to do next! That would give away the surprises! I really do like constructive reviews. How else am I to improve? I really do wish to publish one day and am using fan fiction to hone my skills. I have an original novel started but it will be years before it is good enough to submit to a publisher...mostly because I spend all my time writing LOTR! LOL! You do not come across as harsh at all, just helpful. The reviewers at HASA? Now THEY are harsh! and mean! *cringes* Please do not hesitate to point out the errors! I am a perfectionist and like them to be fixed! And I love input on how the plot could be better, or characters could be developed better. I do get in a hurry sometimes to get to my main point. I am learning to slow down and take the time to develop the story more. The sequel to this is much better, and my new story..I'm actually purposefully NOT rushing, but taking the time to write long, well thought out chapters! With lots of beta input. I'd rewrite this story, but that would take too much time away from my other bunnies. *grin* Oh good. I'm glad I'm still in the acceptable zone! Cuz I hate time outs! *grin*. I tire of the they are trapped for days stories. I am sure in a city like Minas Tirith, the man power available would make it certain they would be found quickly...besides, there was the injury to deal with and that needs medical attention ASAP! I admit I combined several plots I had read and twisted them to my own devices. I'm glad that though this is far from completely original, that you are still enjoying it! I can't wait to see what you think of my sequel, for it far outshines this story! Thanks for all the great reviews! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/12/06 11:17 pm | 6: Chapter Five: Not a Day in Paradise | Signed |
Aragorn's early plight was amusing, but it quickly turned, as you know, to the worse! (O, and I did read CaSohG! I find your exchange from movie to book verse very creative. And you can put it on here, only under Dark Comedy... Pentangle did so for Belly Butter, which is so hilarious, but not dark! You *must* read it!) I did find three teeny mistakes, hardly anything. "messenger who was running" "And what of any others, was anyone else missing or hurt?", and one that I lost. But seriously, that's pretty much my only complaint! Which is hard to come by from me... I'm sure age helps, but still. It may be hard to tell, but this amount of critique from me is a *big* achievement for anyone, and to be counted as praise... I do have a special style in reviewing, one that I see rarely *g*. So bear with me.
Is 'Mahal' Aule? I forget... I'm pretty sure, but not wholly. I found the situation of our favourite Elf and Dwarf very believable, and also very exciting. I can't believe I'm still the only one who's reviewed you here yet! You're a very gifted writer. The plot feels original, and the characters stay well in the personality you've given them. Good work! Not a day in paradise indeed!
Elemmire, Star of Awakening
Author's Response: OH good! I was going to ask Michelle if I could post them. I KNOW Birthday could fall under dark humor since ...well, I won't give it away. Thanks for catching the errors. I really did not have a beta on this story, so I'm sure it's chock full of them. I need to get nautika to review it for me. She catches so much that i miss. *grin* I do appreciate your reviews! I prefer the constructive type to 'great job' and I will take your high praise humbly. *prints out review and frames it, hanging it over computer* Hope you have some nails left when this is done! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/12/06 10:50 pm | 5: Chapter Four: Exploring The Darkness Together | Signed |
TBC! You'd better! Alright! The tension is mounting, and that isn't good when you have a sore stomach! Gimli afraid of bats? That's the last thing I'd expect! *laughs* I am sure Gimli will be long dead before Legolas forgets the story! If he should at all!
The caverns are an interesting mystery, (though I doubt Legolas will have such an out right fear of caves... it would be more plausible if he did not like the dank, the dark, and the depth. He did live in caves, but I imagine them very pleasent of sorts... not like goblin holes as explained in The Hobbit). I could not help but chuckle at the crude axe bit! Poor Prince! I can see him panicking without the light, and a cave in to top it off. I am slightly claustrophobic myself. But I'm getting side-tracked. The story is advancing nicely, and so will I! On to the next chappie! Elemmire Star-Sheen
Forget not Menelmacar
Author's Response: I'm sure the elven king's halls were very nice and well lit and felt more like a home than caves. *grin* I think I need to tackle my own back story as to why the elf doesn't like dark closed in spaces underground. Hm...but my bunnies are happily writing other stories at the moment. Glad you liked this chapter. It will get very nice and angsty from here on out! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/12/06 09:07 pm | 4: Chapter Three: Breakfast With The King | Signed |
I surely will look into CaSohG! It sounds interesting. The story seems like it will be in full bloom soon. This breakfast is more of a filler (though I didn't mind it at all!), so my review is lack of much that I have not said before. Your writing seems to improve with each chapter, and I have read but 4! You do have a similar problem as last time- it is where Legolas is considering teasing or caves(where it doubled). And is it meant to be italicized? But still, I do enjoy this story, and will be moving forward with all haste!
Elemmire
Author's Response: Ok...now I will have to go back through and figure out WHY it is doing this! When I preview it before posting, it's not like this...hm. Oh yes, check out CaSahG! Quite fun! Not my best writing, but still fun...as is my new story which CaSahG hints at, Birthday Celebrations. Wish we could post humor here...sigh. I'm so happy you are still reading and think my writing improves with each chapter. I did grow alot with this story and the sequel. I'm glad you are enjoying it! Thanks for pointing out the problems with the chapters. I will fix those right away! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/11/06 03:33 am | 3: Chapter Two: A Late Night 'Discussion' | Signed |
I enjoyed this chapter more than the second. It flowed well, and kept to a steady pace. I (my fault, not yours) found it hard to take in Legolas speak so dismissively of Aragorn, but (out of dialog) have Gimli refered to as 'brother'. But, hey, that's me, you've done nothing wrong. (Though I'm hoping that was just overlooked on your part, not purposeful.) I loved it when you had Gimli call Legolas 'lad' - it brought to my attention, so acutely, that Legolas is hundreds upon hundreds of years older than Gimli! Your words were sharp, to the point, and easy to slip into. As his eyes glazed over, one last thought ran through his mind. He was truly blessed with a very good friend. O, such a good line! Love it! This chapter, though serious, was greatly entertaining, and again, I must only applaud! Elemmire
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked this chapter. I think they get better and better as they go, as I developed a lot through this story. When I first wrote this, I was still fairly new to fan fiction and did not realize so many believed Aragorn and Legolas were like brothers before the quest. Personally, I don't feel that from the books. I think they probably had never met before Aragorn brought Gollum to Mirkwood...Tolkien himself points out the great friendship between Legolas & Gimli and that is what I was trying to portray in this story. BUT I have since in my stories changed that fact and have Legolas and Aragorn friends since Aragorn was a child....and have yet to figure out how to rewrite the beginning of this story to reflect it. There is great love between Legolas & Aragorn and you will see it in future chapters. But remember, Aragorn gets married, becomes king, has a kingdom to restore...that's a lot for one person! Friendships are going to change...Legolas & Gimli travel together and do the bachelor thing and draw very close. I know when I married, my friendships, even my closests ones, with single friends changed dramatically. I don't deal with that issue in this story, but in the sequel. But I think in later chapters you will be happy with Legolas & Aragorn's friendship. *deep breath* Did I mention I'm also a big fan of Thundera Tiger and she influenced me greatly when it comes to Legolas and Gimli? *grin* Again, I'm glad you liked this chapter! I love Legolas and Gimli's friendship! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/10/06 09:21 pm | 2: Chapter One: An Overdue Visit | Signed |
| Ok, sorry. I'll lay my case out here: “My lord,” the dark haired elf repeated as he hurried towards Legolas. “A rider arrived from Minas Tirith last night. He left a message for you from the king! He said you should read it as soon as possible,” Tathar exclaimed, handing the scroll over to Legolas. the dark haired elf repeated as he hurried towards Legolas.(you just repeated this down here, away from the dialog> then this as well, sandwiched together) Tathar exclaimed, handing the scroll over to Legolas. “Thank you, Tathar. I will take this up and read it now. Unless the king requires something other of me, I will be leaving for Rohan, and I don’t want to hear any arguments about it either!” Legolas stated quickly as the other was opening his mouth to protest. “I have already missed my regular trips to see Gimli, and nothing here is pressing. Unless Aragorn needs me elsewhere, I will be gone at least a month, perhaps two.” Pausing to observe Tathar’s expression of shock, he added, “I’ll be leaving as soon as I can finish preparing my things.” Legolas stated quickly as the other was opening his mouth to protest. (again a repeat as before, and this time an important piece to the story's flow is sandwiched with it)Pausing to observe Tathar’s expression of shock, he added, [...] I'm guessing this was not what you reread, and if it is, I'm confused. But still, I'm reading to the end of this story! You must sympathize with me... so much to read, so little time to read it all! *g*
Author's Response: EEK! I reread MY copy...not the one here! I don't know how that happened, cuz it's not in my doc that I copied and pasted! Must have been a formatting thing. Thanks for catching that! NiRi |
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| Elemmire | 12/10/06 07:57 pm | 2: Chapter One: An Overdue Visit | Signed |
The plot seems to be awakening. I must say, I found myself able to ease into this much better than the first. You did have an error somehow. Reread where you have Tarthar come in... something happened that I believe you did not intend. It is a little lengthy to explain in here. I am confident you will see it. The letter was very amusing, if slightly awkward. The second time over it is not so, but the first it is a little cumbersome for the swallowing. But I love the line "As it seems all is well in Ithilien, your people can spare your arrogant presence for a time."! It was great! I can just see Tarthar pale with bottled rage at that! (A mere mortal would dare...?!) Gimli seems true, and I am glad to see him... it has been the longest time since I have had some reading time on him! I think this story is a nice break from the numerous Rivendell/Mirkwood themed stories. I hope you get Arwen in soon! Sorry for my pause in reading this.
Elemmire
Forget not Menelmacar
Author's Response: I'm glad you are getting into this more. I thought perhaps you had lost interest. Hm...I have reread that part with Tathar several times, and I still do not see an error. *rereads again* Nope, still don't see anything wrong there...though some will argue lord should be capitalized. Yes, I really need to rewrite the letter. I've been meaning to do it for some time, but I keep getting distracted with other stories. *grin* I love Gimli. You will find him very prevelent throughout the story. And Arwen will show up along with Faramir and Eowyn. I tend to like Post ROTK stories, rather than the overdone Rivendell/Mirkwood stories. I think there is so much room there for playing with the characters. I'm glad you are still reading! I hope you do find the story enjoyable. Thanks for all the input, I appreciate it! NiRi |
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