| Cara | 10/22/08 02:35 am | 2: Chapter 2 | Anonymous |
| So far this is one of the best written fics I've ever found, I keep coming back to it. & Ive been hoping to see chapter three for ages, pleaaaaase write it!!! xx |
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| Kestrel | 01/24/08 01:23 am | 1: Chapter 1 | Anonymous |
| Good story so far. I think Estel is going to get himself in trouble if he keeps listening secretly at the doors...LOL. How else is he going to find out stuff, right? |
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| shona | 08/02/07 05:06 pm | 1: Chapter 1 | Anonymous |
| really enjoyed it !!! it has the makings of an incredible story!!! contrary to what one of the other reviews stated , i like the faster pace that this story moves at, but a little more detail at times would be welcome !!!! love the plot so far , keep up the brilliant work!!! |
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| Dom | 01/16/07 01:09 am | 1: Chapter 1 | Anonymous |
| Very nice. Keep the chapters coming! |
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| Legs18 | 12/31/06 08:11 pm | 2: Chapter 2 | Anonymous |
This is a very interesting take on how Aragorna anf Legolas meet. I find Aragorn's resentment at not being allowed to fight very believable. I also love how the one person who isn't tip toesing around Legolas (Estel) is the one person Legolas can actually bond with. This is a very good start, and I can't wait for more.
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| sushi | 12/04/06 02:38 pm | 2: Chapter 2 | Anonymous |
I preffered the first chapter of this story, to be honest. This one was great, but a bit nothing much happened? Pleeeeez post another chapter soon. |
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| sushi | 12/01/06 02:15 pm | 1: Chapter 1 | Anonymous |
I preffered the first chapter of this story, to be honest. This one was great, but a bit dull? Pleeeeez post another chapter soon. |
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| Elemmire | 12/01/06 12:12 am | 2: Chapter 2 | Signed |
I had to read this a second time just so I could review properly (I was interuptted for a long while). Your views on the Rivendell's inhabitants seem rather original. Most of the time Erestor is known, as Pentangle put it, as "fusty, musty, and dusty", very stern and emotionless on the outward appearance. Legolas is known to love Rivendell, Estel to already have seen Wood-Elves (he is, after all, in the care of the Wise-All-Knowing Elf lord who is constantly consulted by all Races), Elladan to be the more serene, and Elrohir the more rambunctious. But as it is your story, everyone is under your rules, and they are not bad ones. Your writing reminds me of my own from a while back. A little less flowery and strictly to the point. Not a bad foundation, but lacking. Mind you, it is still good, captivating and quick to please, but your writing seems to need a little more... spice. You know what I mean? Not that your stuff stinks, oi, au contraire! But I think you may be ready for some expansion.
Your humour is light and fun, and yet you can be so somber, you fit the angst-writing role very well! Very nice ending- seems to build up some tension! This story is definitely on my "keep-up-with" list. Too bad the Naice doesn't have one of those! You should get around on here- there are a lot of good authors... and a brilliant one is Pentangle! Pentangle's "Belly Butter" is great! (Are you up on Fanfiction?)
Elemmírë Star-Sheen Menelmacar |
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| sushi | 11/25/06 09:34 pm | 1: Chapter 1 | Anonymous |
I loved the story, but I personally thought that there was not enough actual plot in it, and the ending was a bit sudden. If u felt like adding on another chapter I would greatly appreciate it
Author's Response: Oh don't you worry, I'm not nearly finished yet! ;) There's still plenty more to come. I'm really glad you liked it so far, and I'll try to update ASAP. Thanks for reviewing! |
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| Elemmire | 11/24/06 04:42 pm | 1: Chapter 1 | Signed |
Hiya! (Don't we all want reviews? *laugh*) Assuming you were serious about wanting critique, I am willing to give. Truly, I believe we are in the same boat. I have been writing since I was eleven (we are the same age! I'm turning 15 in December!) and my second writing ever was a LotR fic on the romance of Éowyn and Faramir. That got me hooked on writing to show my love of Tolkien, because my mother and older sister were amazed at the skill (which now looks like crap next to my ability now!). Ok, I am reviewing you and talking about me. Sorry. My biggest problem with the story is with the advancement of the plot. It feels so readable. I wanted a bit more spice- you pulled out exactly what I figured you would. It would have been better, I think, if you took us for a spin. It is my nature to attempt to figure out what is happening, before it happens. Like in a movie with an unknown bad guy, I guess who is really behind it, and get a kick out of it. When it is obvious, it is definatly less enjoyable for me. So consider putting a hint of mystery into it— for instance, the Wood-Elf brought in could have been someone other than Legolas (I assume at least... it may be important that it was), and the Prince just shows up to see how things go with him. It would have put a lot of readers for a spin, and boosted any rating you would recieve.
Also, I believe you need to slow down a bit. You are being too quick with your writing. The first paragraph opened beautifully, but it was so quickly set aside I forgot nearly everything within it. If you be more precise, this story would be more attractive. But I do like your style, an elegant touch put so simply it is an easy and fun read. I will be awaiting the next chapter eagerly! Good job all the same! Welcome to the Naice! Elemmírë Star-Sheen
Menelmacar
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this long, helpful review! Like I said, I love nothing more than concrit. Wow, you're fifteen in December? So am I! 17th to be exact. So, you found the story too predictable? I guess it has been a little formulaic so far. I will try my very best to make it a little harder to predict in future chapters. I'm afraid that the Elf did have to be Legolas, as his experience then is quite relevant to the plot of the story. I do have an unfortunate habit of rushing my stories. I come up with an idea and immediately start racing along so that I can get to the point, and sometimes end up going far too fast. I will do my best to slow down and not rush so much. Thanks for pointing that out to me! I really appreciate that you took the time to write such a helpful, constructive review. I will take all your comments on board and try to make sure that future chapters don't follow the same mistakes. I actually agree with you that I love stories that are unpredictable. I always find it disappointing when a story follows exactly the plot I thought it would, and I love being caught off-guard in a fic. I've almost finished the second chapter now, and it is really just a bit of a filler before any of the real action starts. There isn't a lot about it I can change to make it less predictable, but I'll definately be more careful in later chapters. Again, thank you so much! I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story. Much love, Lucy |
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