|Nieriel Raina||02/22/10 07:57 am||1: Release||Signed|
|This was an interesting tale. It feels a bit incomplete, however. Do you have plans to extend it?|
You might be interested to know that you have one POV slip:
The Goblin-man stood where he was for a moment,
You are writing from the Goblin-man's POV and it's doubtful he will think of himself in a narrative fashion, but by name or just the pronoun 'he'. Good job of getting into your primary character's head elsewhere.
|lindahoyland||02/21/10 01:54 pm||1: Release||Signed|
|I liked this very much. I can well imagine something like this happening and that not everyone would be thrilled at Sauron's downfall.|
Author's Response: Thanks, Linda. I wanted to give another persepective - from the bad guys, as I knew everyone else was likely to focus on the goodies. I'm glad the horror wasn't too gross. I was a bit concerned about that, but it seems to have gone down well. I loved your entry. :D