| Nieriel Raina | 02/22/10 07:57 am | 1: Release | Signed |
This was an interesting tale. It feels a bit incomplete, however. Do you have plans to extend it?
You might be interested to know that you have one POV slip:
The Goblin-man stood where he was for a moment,
You are writing from the Goblin-man's POV and it's doubtful he will think of himself in a narrative fashion, but by name or just the pronoun 'he'. Good job of getting into your primary character's head elsewhere. |
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| lindahoyland | 02/21/10 01:54 pm | 1: Release | Signed |
I liked this very much. I can well imagine something like this happening and that not everyone would be thrilled at Sauron's downfall.
Author's Response: Thanks, Linda. I wanted to give another persepective - from the bad guys, as I knew everyone else was likely to focus on the goodies. I'm glad the horror wasn't too gross. I was a bit concerned about that, but it seems to have gone down well. I loved your entry. :D |
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