| lwarren | 07/27/06 03:59 am | 3: Gathering Clouds | Anonymous |
Hey, Pentangle! A prize? Hey, I'm always open for a prize or two *snurk*! I had a lot of fun reviewing...I haven't had much time lately and was able to wrest the computer away from my boys long enough to do more than one story, so...I did! Besides, I love to talk about Legolas and Aragorn and my boys certainly DO not appreciate them appropriately. (They ARE self-proclaimed dwarves, after all!) Chapter 3 - I loved all the description of Estel's secret place - especially under an old willow tree. The "immense" picnic, the muskrat - sounds like the perfect place for a lazy afternoon! I also enjoyed the 'search' initiated by Elladan for Estel. You did a good job of building tension with the weather - it kind of just snuck up on me as I was reading - kind of like it did on Legolas. Legolas really hasn't been around youngsters very much, it seems - it is really noticable in the way he keeps his distance from Estel and the way he just can't understand the bond between Elrond, the twins and the mortal boy. That's why the whole last part of this chapter, once he finds Estel, is so moving. He really puts his foot in his mouth, and it's all because he just doesn't understand how what he says could be so hurtful. Tough lessons for the Prince. And ones that start to work on that tough wall he's got around his heart. The discussion of Estel's parents, and his question about forgetting them...*sniff - "Where are those darn tissues anyway?"* I really liked how Legolas' tender, thoughtful side finally started to show through, though. "You are breaking my heart, pen neth." *sigh* And Estel's forlorn little statement about how "we don't have much luck with naneths" almost did me in. The last paragraph was a kicker, too..."It is just as well...you are not a very good Highness, are you? But I like you, so it does not matter." I was thinking, "I know, baby. I like him, too!" :-) Great chapter - great ending, too! Linda (thanks for loading up that story - can't wait to read it! I'll only review once tonight - wouldn't want you to get tired of me! LOL)
Author's Response: Thanks again, Linda! Like a million times! I was fortunate enough to have a willow like that when I was a child, and had to include it in the story. Of course, I was quite heartless and killed the poor thing - but needs must! the line about the naneths (one of my favorites, I must admit) came about when I started counting the dead mothers in LotR! There's a bunch! I hope Tolkein didn't have an unhappy childhood! I had to make Legolas not exactly good with small children because I write *angst* darn it, and happy-happy Legolas and Estel wouldn't have cut the mustard. I hope you enjoy the rest! You totally changed a rather yucky day into a great one for me. Pentangle |
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| lwarren | 07/26/06 05:13 am | 2: The Meeting | Anonymous |
"...if you are a Highness." "What a dear little human." Hmmmmm, that went well, didn't it? Ah, the perceptions of children. I teach third graders and they never cease to amaze me with some of the things they come up with. Estel and his fairy-tale picture of a what a prince should look like. And Legolas - wrong thing to say, Thranduilion, totally wrong! It seems as if fate (and a certain author, who shall remain nameless) conspired against Legolas and Estel - there's that limb of Sauron comment again! :-) Which, of course, set Glorfindel off - he might complain about Estel bothering him and causing problems, but no one else had better say a word about the boy! Enter the Swamp Monster....which led to some interesting images - Erestor with a knife in his teeth, Glorfindel with half a braid, and Elladan NAKED while Elrohir is in a towel and some bubbles! Very nicccceee, Pentangle *sigh* very nice indeed! ;-) Then Estel starts to show that warm, compassionate side just a little when he starts to feel sorry for Legolas, and Legolas of course, misses it entirely. I felt so sorry for Estel as he left the room, that one tear trailing down his cheek as he assures himself he doesn't want that 'fake' prince to like him anyway! Poor little guy! It makes you wonder if these two will ever reach a point where they can "see" each other. Great! On to Ch. 3! Linda
Author's Response: Hi again, Linda! I think you've set a record for the number of reviews in 24 hrs for a single reader. I wish I had a prize to give you... I'm so glad you enjoyed the family interactions in 'Mellyn'. I finally slowed down a bit and did more description and filling in of detail (which I'm always afraid to do because then my readers will just go to zzzzzzzzzzz....). At least in this case, I think it worked and you seem to agree. The swamp monster was probably the most fun I've had in writing in quite a while. Nekkid elves are always good - goes without saying! And naturally, being an angst writer, I couldn't have Legolas and Estel be best buddies right off the bat, could I? Thanks for asking for "Five Words in Winter" (the very finest compliment!). I was totally unaware I had not loaded it here, and will do so this weekend. Again, many, many thanks! Pentangle |
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| lwarren | 07/26/06 04:59 am | 1: Mirkwood and Imladris | Anonymous |
ok, in the interest of not having a 50 page review I will TRY to just list the highlights of the this first chapter - or rather the parts that made me light up! :-) '...he would eventually become nothing but a blade and a bow, an automaton, having no purpose except to deal death...' *shivers* nothing light about this! Chilling! Thranduil and his concept of time *g* You were there just 50 years ago? What's the rush? *hehe* Second-in-command Aignor of the fiddlestick tongue and suspect balance (he bowed so low he fell on his face? *vbg*), the 6 year argument :-) and Legolas and Thranduil's tender goodbyes (irascible old elf, and nuts falling from trees indeed!). Great first section...on to Imladris! Ooooooh, ghost stories in the Hall of Fire (orc *gulp!* ghosts). I love the interaction between Elrond, Elladan, and Elrohir and their Estel. But I think the best part was Estel's perception of what makes a "real PRINCE". My, what a list! "Let us drown him...Agreed. We will tell Ada it was an accident." There's nothing like the picture of big, brotherly elves taking care of little Estel ( and you capture him so well, too!) Wonderful Chapter 1, Pentangle! I do have one question - Where is your story you prefaced at the beginning - "Five Words in Winter"? I looked here but didn't see it (of course I have been known to look right at something and not register! :-( I would love to read it!) On to Ch. 2!! Linda
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Linda! I *really* hesitated writing this since it has been done so many times (Estel meets Legolas) and done so well by so many. I'm very, very pleased you enjoyed it. If I had my druthers I would write nothing but dialogue and character interaction, since that's what I love most. So this story was a lot of fun to write. There is nothing dearer to my heart than someone who actually remarks on specific lines and points of the story they enjoyed, so this is a world-class review! "Five Words in Winter" is here at NaN. It's only one chapter since it was a Teitho entry. Pentangle |
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| Ocne | 05/07/06 07:44 pm | 6: Mellyn | Anonymous |
| Pentangle! *hugs* Thank you for posting the complete story! I've read till 2am and have gone to bed half-blind, but utterly satisfied with myself :-) What can I say? Your writing skills have improved very much. Your descriptions are vivid, not boring and I am very happy with your characterizations in this story . Nothing is rushed, every emotion is given the time to develop and shown in just light. Estel's insecurity, jealousy and even his final pleas for friendship were all credible. The latter, I think, is very hard to write without getting over the top. You managed fine. I was moved by the child's honesty and sadness. As for Legolas, he's in 'to feel or not to feel' kind of dilemma. Every choice has its price. Well, that's life and it is a pleasure to read a fanfic author who obviously has life experience. I too liked Legolas' visions. Any chance you'll develop on them? Anyway, this "fake prince" will be well matched with the last and crownless king of the lost kingdom. Well, I'm done. Love your stories!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, *again*, Linda! Your comments are so appreciated for theri depth and concreteness. It's so great that you mention specific things that you like, since it lets me know what worked well so much better than simple "loved the story" comments do (not that I don't like those, too!) Please feel free to let me know what could be improved, as well. I want my writing to get better over time, and it is so hard to see your own work objectively.
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| Michelle | 05/03/06 02:19 am | 6: Mellyn | Signed |
*sniffles* Pentangle, that was SO wonderful! I'm so glad to decided to continue "Five Words in Winter" and actually write their first meeting. I can't express how much I love your little!Estel. He's cute and adorable, but he's also quite mischievous and a bit of a trouble-maker. And Legolas has a pretty thick hide that he could resist Estel's charm for six whole chapters! Chapt. 1: I told you before and it actually made me laugh this time, but you're my personal thesaurus. I'm not even through the first chapter and have already learned a new work. Never heard blatherstrike before:) It's a bit sad we didn't see more of Aignor, because I'm quite fond of him, but at least he was in the first chapter! Also interesting, the fact that you apparently have to be beautiful to be a ghost. ROFTL! You write Estel's dialogue perfectly. He can be a typical child at times - not thinking further than the next treat or the next story. He's babbling quite a bit! And then the next, he's all grown up *huggles*. Chapt. 2: Oh, Legolas, that was not a smart move! Ruffling his hair? Mrpfh... They're off on an exceptionally bad start. But I guess they both had expectations so huge the other could never fulfil them. Legolas was expecting some larger than life hero. Estel was expecting a real prince. The Glorfy/Erestor/Estel/Leggy scene was very telling. Glorfindel is telling off Estel, Legolas accused Estel of being a limb of Sauron and the Rivendell family stands united against the prince. So true! You can say everything about your family, but others don't have the same right. And Legolas as The Swamp Thing? Hilarious! Chapt. 3: Ah, and there it starts! For some reason I loved the muskrats. I was suprised at your final author note. Do people not know those little beasts? I know someone who bred them (though I don't know for what - MEAT???) and I was always impressed with their teeth. And then there's some first Estel/Legolas bonding. Legolas is still hitting painful targets with astonishing ease, but at least it offers them an opening. Chapt. 4+5: Ah, the angst! As a ranger girl, I think in case Legolas had actually drowned it would have been a more than traumatic experience for Estel. He is very brave even though he's terrified (and don't we love him for it), but in the end he wouldn't have been able to handle it if Legolas had died. Luckily that didn't happen! And I'm disappointed in myself that I had the idea with the reeds at the same time as a nine-year old *grumbles*. And then Estel finally gets proof that Legolas is a real prince. It was about time:) And his family's righteous pride in his deed was soooo endearing! Chapt. 6: Interesting how Legolas has to come to terms with the fact that his Hope won't come without a price and that he actually has to risk something to gain something. Children are perceptive this way and I liked how you had Estel all squirming and unsure in Legolas' presence, because he couldn't bring together Legolas' good eyes and the way he acted (that passage was wonderful!). Also, Legolas' short glimpse into the future made me all teary-eyed for some reason! Hach, I'm all happy now! Always am, after I've read a good dose of your cute Estel. Could you clone him for me? I want my own:) Thank you for the wonderful story *jumps and hugs you*!
Author's Response: English needs more words for 'thank you', Michelle! Those just don't express my gratitude at receiving such a wonderful review. This was a little bit difficult to write - to try to create a reasonable reason why Legolas and Estel would not hit it off right away. However, ever since discovering Tolkein, I have wondered about the courage required for an elf to be friends with a man. It would be like a person meeting someone they think they will be great friends with, only to find that the prospective friend has a terminal illness that will kill them in a month or two. Many people would hesitate at that point. But there are some who would say it would be worth the cost. Legolas makes that choice, but I had to have him dither around a bit, or there would be only one happy chapter. And it's all about the angst! You have muskrats, too?! I thought they were local critters. But MEAT?!? Gosh, I hope not! They're too cute. Thanks for the nudge after 'Five Words'; this was fun to write and I'm sure there are more adventures coming. Although I also want to write another with Estel and Sadoreth. Too many bunnies and too little time.... Hugs right back! Pentangle |
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