Who made me?
Telchar made me.
The smith's blow fell on flaming steel,
He spoke the words that woke my light.
"Fire of Aulë, grant your power,
The blade of the Sun and the Moon."

Who blooded me?
Dior blooded me.
Blood flowed red and hot
In the Thousand Caves in the last defense
When Thingol's Heir slew Fëanor's son
With the blade of the Sun and the Moon.

The next verses need no alterations. Perhaps you could change placese of the third and fourth line in the Elendil-verse, but I'm not sure if it will be better. But I would sugest rearanging the Valandil-verse:

Who cherished me?
Valandil cherished me.
From king to king I passed, from son to son,
The promise of a kingdom remade,
When all other heirlooms were lost;
The blade of the Sun and the Moon.

I really like the way the last verse breaks with the rest, it is fitting and marks a differnce.

These are of course just sugestions, and if you don't like them, feel free to ignore them.

I will review the rest of the chapters as well, but have not had much time - and will probably not have the comming week or two, but I have not forgotten you.

Rhytyhm is hard, I know. I can see if i can help you if you want, in those few poems I have written I have usually paid a lot of atention to rhytyhm.

The best advice I can think of at the moment, is to try to decide on a fixed number of stessed and unstressed syllebles within each line, and not change those too much in the verses. The rhytym of the first verse is not too bad. if you try to keep to it, but I think the verses would improve if you added one more line before the last one, one that match the 3rd and 4th line in rhytyhm. And keep that up throughout. It might make the verses more harmonious. Just a sugestion. use it if you like it, if not, don't *g*

You've started your story again! You've made me very happy, and I will try to be patient waiting for the new chapters.

As for the proluge: I like that you create some background to Narsil and using a poem to do it fits very well.

However I have some problems with your poem. It does not have any clear rhytyhm. Rhyme does not concern me much, but rhytyhm I find very importaint. It gives a poem shape and movement. The repetition of questions and the line "The blade of Sun and Moon" works well, but the parts inbetween would benefit from a more strickt rhytyhm I think.

I am not sure if it works with the made up story or not. I can't decide if I like it or not. You could have done very much the same thing with just the cannon-story and still keep much of the questions/verses, but it would be less story to go on. No, I can really decide what I would have liked more. I guess the only problem I have is to make it fit with what Tolkien tells us - I would have imagined that more of the sword's story would have been comented upon if such importaint persons as Dior and Elros had owned it before, but Narsil is kown only as the sword of Elendil. Maybe I am overreacting. It is not as if you say your legend is cannon.

Anyway, that was my reactions to the prolouge. If you decide to do anything more with it, the rhytyhm-thing is probably more improtaint than the cannon-thing ;-)

Keep writing! I'l try to review the chapters as they come, and I get the time.

Oh, please do continue this story. I love it.

The re-casting of the Gawain/Ragnelle-story was briliant (my favorite story as you might guess), but that is not the thing that captured my interest. It is so good to see a story that is so consistient with the books, never mind the difference in elven-lovelife. I would not change that myself - and would normaly not like it - but the way you handle it, I don't care.

I really like the way you portray Aragorn; I can see how he will become the man we meet in LotR and his strenght is appearent already. This makes me belive in the character.

Oh, I realy don't know what to say, I only have praise. (I could probably find parts that can be improoved if I try, but I don't even want to try.) Most unusual for me. And I want to know how it goes from here. What is this attack? You have me intriuged. Please, please write more!