A very good beginning, Pentangle. I'm not usually fond of Legolas angst, but when it is written as well as you did, I'll continue reading. I guess he would be ashamed of his error of judgement, but that last paragraph brings forth something a lot darker. Hope those carrion dogs are not after him. If yes, well, then Estel is not that far. And no, Estel did not do the wise thing, but, after having read Choosing, I see that he is turning quite well as a friend :-) I have read the two previous installments without living a comment. Erm... no excuses, for I loved both of them. Glorfindel's last words in the second story were priceless. And I love your writing, otherwise I would not have reviewed. Yet I have a couple of counsels, no, rather opinions, and I wonder if you would welcome them. "Legolas had proceeded to carefully creep into the tiny defile and now looked upon two men (...)" I think it is better to say "Legolas carefully crept into the tiny defile and looked upon two men..." Just to lighten the phrase a little. "Suddenly Glorfindel sat up, motioning the others for silence. Then the others heard it. Faint at first but gaining in volume, some commotion approached them. The air vibrated with the sort of tension that dire news carries with it. The three on the balcony stood and prepared themselves for trouble." Repetitions can be such a bother sometimes :-) Can I suggest something? Maybe write the second paragraph like this : "Then they heard it. Faint at first but gaining in volume, some commotion approached. The air vibrated with the tension that dire news carry. The three on the balcony stood." Oh my, this review is fast growing to become a monster. But I'm all done annoying you. Once again, those suggestions are just my opinions. You are the writer. And as such, could you post chapter 2 soon? Please? :-)
Author's Response: I don't know who has the most angst in this one. From my viewpoint it's Estel but you could look at it from the other way. Some people will not like Legolas in this fic, but I think the characterization is possible given where he has been fighting and living for most of his life. Thank you for your suggestions! I want to improve - I'm very new at this writing stuff (at least fiction) and you were very gentle and kind about it! Your versions are definitely better - I *did* feel that those sections were awkward but my own alternatives were worse than the originals so I left them alone. Thanks again, Pentangle | 