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BIO: I'm just a woman in love with all things Tolkien and can't stop exploring Middle-earth.
Afore I had Beheld by Elemmire [12  ] Very colourful I hope. Yes, we all know of Aragorn and Arwen's meeting in Imladris, but have you ever given thought to Estel and Arwen meeting, not knowing the other and unable to see each other? This is a little piece on that. It had been a one shot, but evolved into a larger story. Cheers and mushrooms! |
Category: Third Age - Pre LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Celeborn, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Galadriel | Genres: Drama | Language: English | Rating: K | Warnings: AU | Chapters: 2 | Published: 08/14/06 | Updated: 08/29/06 | Words: 9364 | Completed: No | Read: 5824 |
Date: 12/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: Have No Fear
I was reading your reviews, and I see you said Estel is supposed to be 10-13 in this fic. As a mom who deals with kids all the time, I'd say he comes across as maybe barely 10, more like 8-9...and not mature for his age.
I also see that this is a what if Estel and Arwen met and didn't realize it. I have to point out that is still very much AU, for you make it clear Estel KNOWS about Arwen. From ROTK The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen..."Often is it seen," said Aragorn, "that in dangerous days men hide their chief treasure. Yet I marvel at Elrond and your brothers; for though I have dwelt in this house from childhood, I have heard no word of you." So Estel would not have known about her at all! And to my knowledge, he never traveled to Lothlorien until he was much older and had been with the Dunedain for a time.
One other thing I saw was your terms for grandmother and grandfather. I think the Sindarin is Daeradar and Daernaneth...not the terms you used...but perhaps you used Quenya, for I'm not familiar with that yet.
Keep writing!
NiRi
Author's Response:
Thank you for your insight! Yes, AU, now I must agree. And the really embarassing thing... I totally forgot the whole point to the plot! Aug! I did have one! I have read The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen about three times... and aye, that I must agree with you, but I recall some counter I had to that... I forgot that too! I also have much experiance with children- trust me! Some say he is too mature, others say not enough. So I'm at odds, and must stand my ground. I'll hold him at tenish, though, cuz I get your point. Yea, I know also of his visits to Lorien. I hear you. My Elvish came from a book by Ruth Noel... I think that's her name... called "The Languages of Middle-earth" so your Elvish is probably from a different source than mine. But thanks for pointing that out!
I may consider pulling this story off, and just working on it until I find some complete form, and be able to tackle a few of the problems caught by myself and reviewers (to you I thank most happily). I am thankful of your help, and will take it to heart. Thanks again! Gen hennon!
Elemmire S-S
Forget not Menelmacar
Date: 12/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: Have No Fear
Hm... Well, the writing is very good, I'll give you that. Your descriptions are fabulous. But I don't think I like the story line. Tolkien stated that Aragorn did not even KNOW Elrond HAD a daughter until he met her when he was 20. And I'm not a fan of mixing elvish and English mid sentence. Very fanon of you. *Grin* I'm of the belief that there is a time and place for using elvish in a story, and it is in places like Tolkien used it. I don't like the MC tendency to throw in a few words here and there as it makes it seem the author is simply showing off his or her vocabulary. These are elves...they are speaking in Sindarin the whole time and we know that, therefore it is silly to be talking in English one minute and then throw in an ion nin. At least in my opinion. There are hundreds of MCers who would disagree with me.
I really liked your Haldir very much. And I like your little Estel. I just don't like him potentially meeting Arwen until Tolkien says he did and I don't think Elrond would have taken him on a trip to Lothlorien either. But great writing! Keep it up!
NiRi
Author's Response:
O no! The dreaded "Hm" beginning! *laughs* I totally agree with your Elvish complaint- in fact, I've agreed with you since I began reading fanfics! I found it so puzzling that Elves would (who are supposed to speak Sindarin/Quenya all the time) obviously speak in English and throw in fragments of their own language at random-ish times. Now, sometimes it is appropriate. Like when Gimli is in our midst- I don't think they'd be so rude as to go over his head (and wouldn't he object like he did with Haldir?) But reading so many stories with the mix, it kinda slips out in my own writing. I will... refrain.
I can sympathise (oddly) with your objection to the plot. (Are you a Tolkien purest?) And I'm so happy you're both bold enough to say it, and Tolkien-lore-wise-thingy enough to note it! *young child voice* But you must be nice- this was me rushing out a plot because I weally weally wanted to be up on here! *end childish voice here* No really, beat me up and bruise me. I'll just return the favour! ('Speacially if you put Pentangle in the same league as everybody else! And below Legolass! I can't believe you could do that! I haven't read the others on your tops, so I can't comment on them- but I will!)
I am very proud of my floweriness. I'm told I shouldn't be cuz it stinks... but I can't help it! I love it, and I'm overjoyed you comment well on it. See, I love squirells *grins*! And I am very happy with my Haldir... Estel's just dandy on my Good List too!
Elemmire S-S
| I Yanta Imbe by Elemmire [8 ] Burdens cannot be borne alone. A series of poems of different places of grievous sufferings, some pointing to death for friendship, some to life in friendship. |
Category: Third Age - Pre LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Legolas | Genres: Angst | Language: English | Rating: T | Warnings: None | Chapters: 2 | Published: 08/22/06 | Updated: 12/07/06 | Words: 4979 | Completed: No | Read: 7363 |
Date: 12/14/06 Title: Chapter 2: A Dreamer's Song
I did like this...but I am not overly familiar with this part of Middle-earth history. I really liked the song! And I loved your young Boromir and Thorongil intervening. You captured Denethor very nicely as well, and nice to see his wife. (I can never spell her name without looking!) I'd be more critical but I'm really tired!
Nice job!
NiRi
Author's Response:
Thank you! To tell the truth, I can not spell her name either... but I'm trying! I love Gondor... well, and Rohan... and the Shire... and... well, quite frankly, all of Arda! I was slightly worried over my Denethor, so its good to have an 'ok' on him. I knew Boromir had to love Thorongil- who couldn't? I used to hate the song, but then I realized it would be a great song for Aragorn! Thank you ever so much NiRi... again. Now you made my day!
~ Elemmire Star-Sheen
Date: 12/14/06 Title: Chapter 1: Suffer the Night
This is pretty good poetry (of which I am not a really big fan). The fifth stanza in the first one did not flow right like the others in the poem. And some of it felt forced as if you were really striving for the rhyme rather than saying what needed to be said...but over all, very good. Poetry is tough! So I applaud your valiant and lengthy prose!
NiRi
Author's Response:
Thank you for coming through! Someone who doesn't shy away from the truth! I will look into the fifth stanza right away, and see if I can ease the tightness. I was rereading it, and finding some problems, so editting is in order. Thank you for your honesty, truly! (And yet I do not wholly agree with the poetry is tough... tough to smooth, aye, but hardly so to write for me!) So you have my permission to be more critical, and crack 'em hard! I am *lips quiver* mature enough. *blinks at skeptical stares* I am... mature... just insane.
~Elemmírë S-S
Date: 12/19/06 Title: Chapter 1: Suffer the Night
Ok...seems a little better. I don't know if you changed something, or it's just rereading at a different time that makes the difference. It's still a little ...I don't now how to describe it. A little jarring? But better than most fan fiction poetry I've read.
Keep up the great work!
NiRi
Author's Response:
Yes I changed it. If you could suggest a different form of the stanza that you could construct, then show it to me, I would be most obliged. I try to take in all advice, so I'm soaking yours! Jarring... hmm, that I could fix that. Well, I'll ask the big guy (someone who has poetry down better than I, even though we don't always agree) Nice to meet a Christain! Pity about the church...
Elemmire
| What King is This? by Elemmire [5 ] Pelennor Fields, after the come of the Rohirrim's sweep into the battle. Through the eyes of a horseman after his horse was slain. Focusing on the main, male royalty that fought and died on the Pelennor. For Teitho's "O.C." challenge |
Category: Third Age - War of the Ring | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Eomer, Gimli, Legolas, Original Character | Genres: Drama | Language: English | Rating: T | Warnings: None | Chapters: 1 | Published: 11/17/06 | Updated: 11/17/06 | Words: 5136 | Completed: Yes | Read: 4217 |
Date: 12/01/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One
Oh! You wrote THIS story! I knew your name looked very familiar. I absolutely loved this story and it even got one of my votes for the Teitho! I absolutely love your dialogue. You cannot tell yours from Tolkien's so it does not disrupt the story at all to pull from canon. Your descriptions were also very clear, I could see it all unfolding in my mind. And I absolutely LOVED Folcred and cried at the end. Fabulous story!
NiRi
Author's Response:
Wow, this from such a great author! Thank you so very much! Yes, somehow I wrote this baby. One of your votes on Teitho? Sweet! I tried hard to make Tolkien-authentic dialog. Seems I succeeded.
I had been so worried about the descriptions I had used. Some think I over describe and make it unreadable. I found it hard to say goodbye to Folcred in the end, but I managed. Here, a tissue. (I never imagined making someone cry before!)
~Elemmire S-S
| Temptation by lindahoyland [1 ] In the fleshpots of Umbar, an irresistible force meets an immovable object. Who will prevail? Written for the "There and Back" challenge. |
Category: Third Age - Pre LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Original Character, Thorongil | Genres: Angst | Language: English | Rating: T | Warnings: None | Chapters: 1 | Published: 04/11/07 | Updated: 04/11/07 | Words: 305 | Completed: Yes | Read: 2480 |
Date: 10/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Oh, very nicely done! I love this kind of fic.
NiRi
Author's Response: Thanks, NiRi, I'm pleased you liked it.It is entered at MEFA,so I hope others will share your view !
| Tales of Telcontar by lindahoyland [12 ] A collection of ficlets originally posted on the AA list and LJ now extended and polished. A mixture of angst,fluff,humour and drama. Further characters and catagories will be added together with the stories
|
Category: Fourth Age - Post LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Eldarion, Eowyn, Faramir, Imrahil, Merry, Original Character, Pippin | Genres: Angst, Drama, Humour | Language: English | Rating: K+ | Warnings: None | Chapters: 90 | Published: 09/22/07 | Updated: 06/08/20 | Words: 102844 | Completed: No | Read: 1159815 |
Date: 02/22/10 Title: Chapter 30: Before it was broken
Oh this is delightful, Linda! Nicely done.
One pickie:
The vase will be most useful for my sitting room, as I love to always have flowers about me. (You left out the word 'be' there! ;)
Author's Response: I'm pleased you enjoyed this and a big thank you for pointing out the typo. I'll fix it now.
| Only Water In Your Veins by Michelle [4 ] A foray into the enemy's land goes awry and Aragorn finds himself in a perilous situation. |
Category: Third Age - Pre LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Arwen, Original Character | Genres: Angst, Drama | Language: English | Rating: T | Warnings: None | Chapters: 1 | Published: 02/16/08 | Updated: 02/16/08 | Words: 5917 | Completed: Yes | Read: 3447 |
Date: 02/17/08 Title: Chapter 1: Only Water In Your Veins
Wow, Michelle! No wonder this took 1st! Absolutely AMAZING description here. I could feel with Aragorn the whole way. Fantastic imagery. I'm impressed. *grin*
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm a bit baffled that readers like my desert so much. It was hell to write, but it seems it was worth it!
| Sacrifices by wind rider [1 ] Sacrifices buy freedom, but at what price?
“In this tainted world the measure of the worth is determined by the measure of the sacrifice, son of Arathorn.”
A tiny gap-filler before the Fellowship left Rivendell. |
Category: Third Age - Pre LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Erestor, Glorfindel | Genres: Drama | Language: English | Rating: K+ | Warnings: None | Chapters: 1 | Published: 02/19/10 | Updated: 02/19/10 | Words: 1449 | Completed: Yes | Read: 2184 |
Date: 02/22/10 Title: Chapter 1: Sacrifices
I really enjoyed this very much and I really liked your Erestor. Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response:
I am glad you enjoyed reading the story, and I am quite happy that you liked my take on Erestor. Thank you for reading and reviewing, NiRi. :) I appreciate it very much.
- Rey
| Release by WendWriter [2 ] After the war of the Ring, Aragorn freed the slaves of Núrn and gave them the land for themselves. But what did they do with their freedom? |
Category: Fourth Age - Post LOTR | Series: Series Characters: Aragorn, Original Character | Genres: Angst, Drama, Horror | Language: English | Rating: T | Warnings: Character Death | Chapters: 1 | Published: 02/20/10 | Updated: 02/20/10 | Words: 1104 | Completed: Yes | Read: 2863 |
Date: 02/22/10 Title: Chapter 1: Release
This was an interesting tale. It feels a bit incomplete, however. Do you have plans to extend it?
You might be interested to know that you have one POV slip:
The Goblin-man stood where he was for a moment,
You are writing from the Goblin-man's POV and it's doubtful he will think of himself in a narrative fashion, but by name or just the pronoun 'he'. Good job of getting into your primary character's head elsewhere.